Due to sciatica pain I had begged for an induction, only to arrive at the hospital to have naturally begun labour and no longer needing an induction was admitted to the hospital only to wait hours for a bed. As things progressed a number of events took place which added to the traumas I endured. To begin, the hospital made it very difficult for me to self advocate —while receiving my epidural I became quickly aware that the numbing injection had not worked when the anaestheologist had begun the procedure, telling her numerous time that I had felt pain — she dismissed my concerns and labeled the pain I felt as pressure and continued the procedure. Nervous and experiencing this for the first time I let her continue until I could no longer accept her response and mentioned again in more discomfort the pain I was experiencing. The doctor then had to pull what she had begun and start again with more numbing, this was followed by two epidural blocks, one of which I was treated with so much medication I had begun to hallucinate — scared and confused I told my husband, he went to advocate on my behalf only to be told that shakes are normal and be brushed off. Towards the end of my 33 hours of labour I was told I needed an emergency c section due to fetal cardiac distress. Throughout my L & D stay I had a number of nurses run into to push me, roll me or yell at me to switch positions and each time I questioned them why, only getting the response “we just aren’t getting a good Doppler reading, nothing to worry about”. Trying to process the risks of a c section with minimal information, while having a soaring fever, in between being sick, and that my daughter was in cardiac distress was terrifying. No one had been transparent with me and explained what had been happening during my labor, I was not given the opportunity to discuss my options with my husband nor was I given the opportunity to understand that my delivery would be different than what I had imagined for the past 9 months — was to say the least traumatic, we were told that if I did not consent to a c section quickly a safe delivery for mom and baby could not be guaranteed. Trying to process all of this after not being able to properly self advocate, not being given any information about what was happening in MY BODY or with MY BABY and while being ill and exhausted created the perfect storm of trauma. I ended up consenting to the emergency section and my daughter was born healthy and happy. But the traumas inflicted on me throughout the birth process left a lingering sting, so many unanswered questions and disappointment of missing out on a calmer birthing experience.
